Maharashtra Prevention of Begging Act of 1960, officially made begging “illegal” and a “crime”, around 60 years back, but I still beg for you to come back.
This Act is not news to me, I have known about it for a while now, but that is no good reason for me to stop begging for you to come back. I don’t want a lot, I just want to know you, I just want you to know me. I want to know if you’re proud of me or not, do you love me or not? Was it easy to leave us? I don’t think it was. Why did you then? Would you have fought for another chance if given one? I think you would.
You see, I can rationally answer a lot of these questions, because I know you through stories, memories, photos and video tapes and I know that these would be your answers. But my irrational thoughts will always beg, beg for you to come back and give me all the answers because what if? What if you don’t think this way? (shh, you know he does).
I counted you know, 30th August, 2024 was the last day when I would have lived the same number of days with and without you. It’s 31st August 2024 today, I have dreaded this day for years now, and now I have officially lived more days without you. That one quote on Instagram, “I’ll have to remember you for longer than I knew you, and I don’t think I’ll ever come to terms with that”, that I never wanted to relate to, I do now, and I will for the rest of my life. How does that make you feel? I’m sorry, I shouldn’t talk to you like that. I can’t help but be angry at you, be frustrated, infuriated, disappointed.
But I have to understand, make sense out of all of this, be strong, not act up. So instead, I commit a crime, and I beg, beg for you to come back, even if it is only for a day. But I know you won’t, will you? I don't think so (can you please come back?) I’ll beg, because if committing a crime for the rest of life meant that I’ll get to see you again, I’ll spend all of my lives doing so.
So moving, brought me to tears.